I’ve lost a bit of my blogging mojo recently. I came home from Around the Table brimming with ideas, but since then, I’ve not pursued anything and to be completely honest, I just don’t feel like it.
Last time I felt a bit meh about blogging was when I was pregnant with Pickle….I’m not pregnant, so there’s obviously something else.
Life is getting more challenging with my two little men. Tiny is a busy kindy boy, and he’s hit the age where he is very determined and opinionated…and most of the time, his opinions are quite different from mine! Pickle isn’t yet on the move, but he’s needing more and more stimulation, and I’m finding that my blogging time isn’t as frequent as it used to be. I’m loving these stages that my boys are in (yes, really!), and it’s so important that I focus on them, because all too soon these precious days will be gone. These days that are busy and fun; the time I used to spend blogging is now spent playing, feeding, reading and entertaining.
I used to draft blog posts while feeding Pickle, but recently I haven’t been able to log in to wordpress on the iPad, and blogging on my phone is not ideal, so I haven’t been grabbing those moments anymore. I haven’t been commenting on a lot of my favourite blogs for this very reason, too – so if you haven’t heard from me in a while, I’m still visiting, and I’m loving your posts, really I am!
I’ve also been lucky enough to make some new friends recently, and I’m relishing play dates and visits with people who are lovely as mums, but also really interesting and lovely as individuals too. This equates to less time spent online, and more time fostering new relationships, and this is really important to me, because I know there will come a time when I decide to call it quits on blogging, and I don’t want to regret not having other things in my life to do. This isn’t a job for me – I don’t think I want to make money out of this blog – and I think I’ve been pushing myself away so I can get some distance from that feeling that it is.
Another thought plaguing me is the name of my blog. When I began, there were three of us in this little family…now there are four and I can’t help feeling like my blog title should reflect that. But how?? I quite like the name of my blog, but I can’t see how I can incorporate “Pickle” into it the way it stands. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!
I think I also got into a bit of a linky-party rut, and found that almost every entry was linking in with a(n awesome) link somewhere. This meant that my blog ceased to be my space, and I felt like I was writing it for other people, and not for me. Don’t get me wrong – I love the linkies I was joining in with, but right now, I’ve backed right off so I can reclaim my space and have a good, long think about why I blog, and for whom.
Alongside that comes the pressure of hosting my own linky – while I have always blogged about food, I’ve been posting begrudgingly recently, and I think it’s because I feel like I have to. However, blogging about all things food is one of the identifying features of my blog (of me!), so I won’t be giving that up any time soon!
Combine all of this with being very tired (Pickle wakes at least three times a night, often two-hourly, and will only go back to sleep in my arms), feeling like I’m wasting away (I’m still breastfeeding around seven times a day and am lighter than I’ve been in years), committing to my Forty Days of Yoga (which I’m loving!), and needing to keep up with the housework, and spend time with my husband…..something has to give a little, and it can’t be anything else right now.
Illustration by the gorgeous and talented Stella
Anyway…bear with me while I bring myself out of this blogging funk, while I figure out what this space means to me and why I’m here, and I promise I’ll be back soon, all sparkly and fresh xxx