Inside my Head

~ My big boy starts kindy next week. He’s ready, I’m ready…but I’m also nervously apprehensive for him. I think every mum sending their child off to kindy or school for the first time shares the same fears – what if he doesn’t make any friends? what if he throws a massive tantrum? what if he learns to hit? bite? spit? what if he gets head lice? – but I’m trying to trust that his teachers will know what they’re doing, and that his caring, compassionate, gentle, mellow, cheeky personality and the way we’ve brought him up so far will give him a good, strong chance at it going well.

~ I need to start wearing make up. I’ve been grasping at the “I’ve got good skin” straws for some time now, but the reality of turning 36 this year has just hit. I guess it’s a little bit of vanity, but it’s also an acknowledgement that two children, too many late nights, and too much sun is starting to show. Thanks to this awesome post over at one of my new favourite blogs, She Exceeds Rubies, I’m armed with an application knowledge that has been missing until now.

~ For some time, I’ve been resisting the urge to buy a smartphone – am I the only person in the world without one?? – but recently, I’ve become consumed by thoughts of one. There is nothing wrong with my current phone (which I love), but the battery has started to lose power more quickly, and a little non-essential part has broken off after I dropped it for the millionth time.

~ I’ve never seen ‘Titanic’. I shall pause here for a moment to let that sink in…………. Okay, pick your jaw up off the floor now. At first it was a conscious, stubborn decision not to watch it, but now, 16 years on, I have absolutely no desire to see it, or not see it. I feel ambivalent towards it, which is quite weird really.

~ I think that moths scare me more than spiders. I hate spiders passionately (see next point), but flying moths actually frighten me. Tall always rolls his eyes when I insist on closing the bathroom window at nighttime, but he hasn’t seen me cowering in the corner, heart pounding, while moths batter incessantly into the lightshade, dive-bombing me in their quest for light. When my mum was pregnant with me, a moth flew into her ear, and I reckon this is a fear built on a memory from the womb.

~ I have anxiety dreams about spiders. Sometimes they are so vivid that I wake myself up trying to brush them off my face or pillow. One night I gouged a sizeable chunk out of my cheek, brushing them off my face. Another night, I thought I felt a spider on my leg, but put it down to one of my dreams. However, the next morning, I threw back the duvet and a huge (seriously HUGE) spider ran across the sheet and under the bed. I screamed, and four of my six male flatmates came running (Tall was in the shower…); they thought I was exaggerating the size until they saw the valance swaying with the spider’s weight, and as it raced towards these tough lads, one screamed, and another almost tripped as he tried to run away. So yeah. Spiders. They’re out to get me, in my subconscious and in my reality.

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11 thoughts on “Inside my Head

  1. A very amuzing post Ange! The kindy/school thing – always has a bit nerve-wracking! My eldest starts school next week – waaaaaahhhhhh!!! You get used to it 🙂 Spiders yuk, make-up when necessary (my good skin comes and goes lol), titanic is titanic, and I dont have a smartphone either… but would LOVE to have one! Have a great day x

  2. Hi Ange, thanks for sharing that blog! I’ve added it to my feed. Great tutorial, I think I’ve been inspired to do my own. I go to work part-time 5 days a week so wear make-up every week day and I DO enjoy it, but the last 12 months have definitely been somewhat revolutionary in terms of products that I have discovered and now use – apart from lipstick, I’m still scared of it!

  3. I remember watching Titanic in intermediate during a rainy lunch time and the teacher skipped through a saucy scene (sex? He was painting her naked? something like that!) and I haven’t watched it since. I have no desire to even though I can’t remember it. “been there watched that”

    Graeme reckons he has a memory of being in the womb. I believe him. I reckon your moth thing could well come from that too. Wombs have power!

    SPIDERS! ARRRRHHH!!! going now.

    p.s – who are your flatmates?? I’ve never heard of them!

  4. um yeah titanic – not worth the 3 hours of your life, spiders actually anything except people and even they freak me out now and again!! kindy will be cool and yes I totally understand every one of those thoughts

  5. LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Titanic, even bought the video (which has long gone now of course)! BUT, in saying that – I wouldn’t waste my time watching it again now :-)!

    Spiders… eeek! I swear they’re after me also – got a few stories like that as well!!!!!!!

    I have a smartphone, I love my smartphone, I wouldn’t be without it now ;-)!

  6. Go the smartphone – you won’t look back, but you will lose hours of your life ha ha! I hate spiders too – feel your pain with that one in your bed….my worst nightmare. Oh Tiny will be just fine but it’s only natural to feel a little anxious 🙂 I enjoyed meeting Liz last week – such a fun group of gals that Whangarei crowd!

  7. What?! you have to watch Titanic! Mind you I haven’t watched a few “must watches” like The sound of Music and Harry Potter.
    Any hoo. Nice to {cyber} meet you. I had little (stalk) look back at your recent posts earlier in the day from the link off Meghans blog. Look forward to meeting in April. 🙂

  8. Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. Have been having a sticky beak around yours and loving it. I moved back to NZ just over 4 years ago from London. Spent my twenties travelling like we Kiwis do. Now living by a vineyard in the country. Such a far cry from our London days. Have a great week. Elaina 🙂

  9. Pingback: Fun with Food: the first lunchbox | Tall, Short & Tiny

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