“I lost all my baby weight straight away, you know.”
Huh. I was feeling pretty excited about being able to see my toes for the first time in months, but that’s that bubble burst.
“It’s a bit dusty in here…”
Look at my beautiful baby. LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL BABY. Oh, screw it. There are cloths in the laundry; knock yourself out.
“Do you think he needs another layer?”
No? Yes? Maybe? I. Don’t. Know.
“You look tired.”
Really?? Wow, you’re perceptive. And thanks, because I was actually feeling kinda good today.
“Isn’t he sleeping through yet?”
No, he’s not, and regardless of what you think, that’s normal. But he will. One day. And on that day, I’ll be sure to let you know.
“So you’ll be having another, then?”
Woah. WOOOOAH. Back that truck up, let me get my head around how this one works first.
“How’s the breastfeeding going?”
Don’t assume that it is. Ever. Mothers who are not breastfeeding, for whatever reason, carry enough guilt over decisions they make concerning their babies, so don’t go adding to it, however unintentionally.
“Are those maternity pants you’re wearing?”
Why yes they are. Darn comfy they are, too. But if you hold my poo-y baby, I’ll just get onto my 100 daily crunches now, okay?
“Awesome, now you can come out for my birthday drinks next weekend.”
Yeah…not gonna happen. Got this unpredictable little thing called a “baby” to look after, see? But hey, thanks for the reminder that my social life is now over (it’s not, really, but for those first few
years months weeks, it sure feels like it).
Just days after I had Tiny, I introduced him to my sister via Skype. My nephew (2.5 years old at the time), popped on screen and said, unprompted, “Aunty Angela, you look beautiful.”
Now that is what you should say to a new mum. It still makes me smile, almost three years later, knowing that he knew the right thing to say when many adults didn’t.