Things You Probably Shouldn’t Say to a New Mum

“I lost all my baby weight straight away, you know.”

Huh. I was feeling pretty excited about being able to see my toes for the first time in months, but that’s that bubble burst.

“It’s a bit dusty in here…”

Look at my beautiful baby. LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL BABY. Oh, screw it. There are cloths in the laundry; knock yourself out.

“Do you think he needs another layer?”

No? Yes? Maybe? I. Don’t. Know.

“You look tired.”

Really?? Wow, you’re perceptive. And thanks, because I was actually feeling kinda good today.

“Isn’t he sleeping through yet?”

No, he’s not, and regardless of what you think, that’s normal. But he will. One day. And on that day, I’ll be sure to let you know.

“So you’ll be having another, then?”

Woah. WOOOOAH. Back that truck up, let me get my head around how this one works first.

“How’s the breastfeeding going?”

Don’t assume that it is. Ever. Mothers who are not breastfeeding, for whatever reason, carry enough guilt over decisions they make concerning their babies, so don’t go adding to it, however unintentionally.

“Are those maternity pants you’re wearing?”

Why yes they are. Darn comfy they are, too. But if you hold my poo-y baby, I’ll just get onto my 100 daily crunches now, okay?

“Awesome, now you can come out for my birthday drinks next weekend.”

Yeah…not gonna happen. Got this unpredictable little thing called a “baby” to look after, see? But hey, thanks for the reminder that my social life is now over (it’s not, really, but for those first few years months weeks, it sure feels like it).


Just days after I had Tiny, I introduced him to my sister via Skype. My nephew (2.5 years old at the time), popped on screen and said, unprompted, “Aunty Angela, you look beautiful.”

Now that is what you should say to a new mum. It still makes me smile, almost three years later, knowing that he knew the right thing to say when many adults didn’t.

Things I Wish I’d Known: Advice for new mums


10 thoughts on “Things You Probably Shouldn’t Say to a New Mum

  1. Love these, I’ve been on the receiving end of pretty much all of these comments at one point or another and held my tongue. The best thing about your nephew’s comment is that you know it came from an honest place. Kids that age just don’t know how to lie, so it must have been true.

  2. How true this is. Today whn I said Shys routine was messed up to someone, their reply was “fix it”. Sorry but I didn’t break it in the first place. If I could have her in bed at 8pm everyday I would! Lol

  3. I love this post!The one about breastfeeding is so true! When I had my son I couldn’t breastfeed (I’m talking crying in the lactation specialist office, couldn’t) and everyone kept asking me about it and every time it broke my heart.

  4. Cracked up reading these! I had a few overly-helpful (read: overly-opinionated) people offering me some suggestions on post-baby weight loss, and I felt like saying, “You know what would really help? You moving to NZ to babysit so that I can get to the gym!” 🙂

  5. People can be so thoughtless hey – mind you it’s not just when being a new mum either. On occasion when people have told me I’m looking really tired (when I thought I was having a pretty good day) even now it still gets up my nose. Always better to say something positive to someone no matter what you might be actually thinking I say!

  6. Oh yes… I love these posts, love how you think! I never think of such cool posts :-)!

    I wish I had your 3 year old nephew ;-)!

  7. Pingback: Back Soon! | Tall, Short, Tiny & a Pickle

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