~ when your Significant Other goes away for any length of time, you can tell yourself that you are making the “Sleeps Until Daddy Comes Home!” chart for your two-and-a-half year old, but when everyone knows he can’t read yet…well, you’re fooling no one.
~ if you tell me that you have gained weight, and I shortly afterwards mention (loudly) that I’ve lost weight*, I’d expect you to want to slap me. It’s kinda cruel in an accidentally-underhanded way, so why do people do it?
~ a dairy-free diet can be broken by two little words: chocolate brownie.
~ putting the leftover Halloween chocolates beside your bed is NOT classed as putting them somewhere for safe keeping.
~ tidying the toy box and putting away toys your child never plays with guarantees that they will suddenly become Toys of the Week. Which is fine, unless they are battery operated, and those batteries refuse to die.
~ sausages cooked on the barbecue beat sausages cooked in the pan, like rock beats scissors. So. Darn. Good.
* You haven’t. I haven’t. We look awesome.
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