Last year, when I embarked on my Journey to 35, I had no idea how it was going to go, or whether I would even complete it. I thought I might lose interest, or I might find it too much of a struggle each month, but here I am, one year on, and there’s a part of me that’s a little sad I’m finished.
It’s been an interesting 12-month exercise, and one I’ve mostly enjoyed. Some of the challenges I set were much easier than others, while some were really hard to stay focussed on, but the end result – for me – is what was important.
Some months went better than others. The month I decided to get back into running didn’t go so well; at the time, I thought it was due to my own laziness and the mental block I always get when I try to run again, but now, I realise my lack of motivation and energy was more to do with incubating this little guy:
Some months’ intentions have also been easier to continue on. Taking Tiny to swimming lessons, in a bathing suit and right up until 36 weeks pregnant, tells me I got over my body confidence issues, and having a few crafty projects on the go tells me I’ve got my creative spark back again.
It’s been a really interesting journey, and having something to focus on each month has caused me to stop and take the time to respect myself, and feel thankful for what my body and mind can do. It’s made me think about my flaws and my good points (anti-flaws??!), the things I want to teach my kids, the memories I want them to have of me.
It’s also had a huge impact on my relationship with Tiny; I think one of my favourite months was when I concentrated on him, on making good memories with my big boy before my baby boy arrived. This has also been the easiest one to keep in the forefront of my mind, and I am still in that frame of mind now. In fact, I recently swallowed some snobbish pride and took Tiny to Chipmunks (albeit in the safety of some friends!)…he loved it, and it made me realise that I need to do more things that I might not necessarily want to do but know he will enjoy. And if I’m honest, it wasn’t as chav as I expected!
Maybe I’ll re-visit this in a few years time. Maybe I’ll find a new set of goals to work towards. But for now, I’m going to relax and just enjoy life, secure in the fact that I did it, and that it has made a difference.
Thank you, too, to all the lovely people who left encouraging words and supported me through this journey. Knowing I was accountable to more than just myself helped keep me focussed, and I really did feel buoyed by all your kind comments