It was no coincidence that I chose this month to focus on the important people in my life, and do my best to show that I care about them. February has Valentine’s Day and our wedding anniversary, so it made sense to make this month all about love.
My goals were to tell people how much they mean me, reconnect with an old friend, do something special for my parents, and concentrate on friendships.
It’s been a mixed month, really.
It started off well; a dear friend and I cleared the air after a silly miscommunication misunderstanding (although I think non-communication was the issue, really!), and were both relieved to hear that the other still cared as much as they always had. I made a point of telling friends that I love them, and for those not close by, that I miss them and that they are always in my thoughts. In every email, text or phone call, I told my brother and my sister that I love them, and boy, did it feel good!
I caught up with a friend I hadn’t seen in months, and have made albeit-tentative plans to see another shouldn’t-have-been-so-long-between-catch-ups friend soon. I accepted every offer of meeting for a coffee or a visit, and made sure I also suggested meeting up with people.
And then…one of my closest friends separated from her husband. It was unexpected but at the same time, not a big surprise. I found myself caught in the middle of two people I love immensely, and having to make a decision about who could be the one to cry on my shoulder. In the end, it came down to having known my girlfriend for close to 20 years, and I had to gently, so gently, explain to her husband that I couldn’t be that person for him. It was heartbreaking, because I knew he trusted me implicitly and felt comfortable telling me all manner of things, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t be drawn into a messy game of “he said, she said”. And here I was, trying to spend the entire month spreading the love, while for these two, it had died a quiet death. It felt wrong to continue with my journey, but by the same token, it made me realise exactly how important this month’s challenge was.
After a few sleepless nights, I realised that whether I agree with their choices and decisions or not, they are my friends, and that I have to be there for them, support them, love them regardless of how I feel about their situation.
And I felt better. Sad, but content that I could still show them I care, without feeling like I’m being dragged down into a situation that will most certainly become harder before it becomes easier.
With much of my brain-space taken up with this (and much of the remainder disappearing fast into the ether commonly known as “baby brain”!), I haven’t been able to do something special for my parents as yet. However, I am formulating a plan which will be mutually beneficial, and will keep you posted!
Linking up with Greatfun4kids – check out some awesome posts from the past week over at Simone’s place: