I Heard Your Heart Saying “Love Love Love”

It was no coincidence that I chose this month to focus on the important people in my life, and do my best to show that I care about them. February has Valentine’s Day and our wedding anniversary, so it made sense to make this month all about love.

My goals were to tell people how much they mean me, reconnect with an old friend, do something special for my parents, and concentrate on friendships.

It’s been a mixed month, really.

It started off well; a dear friend and I cleared the air after a silly miscommunication misunderstanding (although I think non-communication was the issue, really!), and were both relieved to hear that the other still cared as much as they always had. I made a point of telling friends that I love them, and for those not close by, that I miss them and that they are always in my thoughts. In every email, text or phone call, I told my brother and my sister that I love them, and boy, did it feel good!

I caught up with a friend I hadn’t seen in months, and have made albeit-tentative plans to see another shouldn’t-have-been-so-long-between-catch-ups friend soon. I accepted every offer of meeting for a coffee or a visit, and made sure I also suggested meeting up with people.

And then…one of my closest friends separated from her husband. It was unexpected but at the same time, not a big surprise. I found myself caught in the middle of two people I love immensely, and having to make a decision about who could be the one to cry on my shoulder. In the end, it came down to having known my girlfriend for close to 20 years, and I had to gently, so gently, explain to her husband that I couldn’t be that person for him. It was heartbreaking, because I knew he trusted me implicitly and felt comfortable telling me all manner of things, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t be drawn into a messy game of “he said, she said”. And here I was, trying to spend the entire month spreading the love, while for these two, it had died a quiet death. It felt wrong to continue with my journey, but by the same token, it made me realise exactly how important this month’s challenge was.

After a few sleepless nights, I realised that whether I agree with their choices and decisions or not, they are my friends, and that I have to be there for them, support them, love them regardless of how I feel about their situation.

And I felt better. Sad, but content that I could still show them I care, without feeling like I’m being dragged down into a situation that will most certainly become harder before it becomes easier.

With much of my brain-space taken up with this (and much of the remainder disappearing fast into the ether commonly known as “baby brain”!), I haven’t been able to do something special for my parents as yet. However, I am formulating a plan which will be mutually beneficial, and will keep you posted!

Linking up with Greatfun4kids – check out some awesome posts from the past week over at Simone’s place:


9 thoughts on “I Heard Your Heart Saying “Love Love Love”

  1. Such a hard thing to deal with – I had that once, but I tried to be there for both (despite the length of friendship I’d had with the wife) and it backfired; I lost an old friend because of that. I applaud you for the tough, but necessary decision you made… as much as I have attempted to patch things up, it has never been the same again.

  2. Love that song 🙂

    I don’t think that it’s by chance you chose this month to focus on showing people you care and then this happened to your friends. As it turns out, you have been far better equipped to cope and make good decisions in the situation and be a caring friend because it is top of mind.

    I’ll pray that you continue to find the right ways to show support to your friends in this tough time xx

  3. at the end of it all we are defined by the way we love – that’s my opinion anyway and choosing to love generously and wisely is ultimately worth the navigation of tricky waters. This month you have chosen the love with radical and difficult commitment – love it and am inspired by you xx

  4. Wow, that’s really hard alright, and challenging in a month such as this – but like you said, maybe your challenge is all-the-more needed at this time with these two freinds who are going through so much pain.


  5. Aww your friends are so blessed to have you in their life by the sound of it, what a challenging end to the month for you. I think it’s amazing what you’re doing, purposefully spreading love to those around you. I know it will come back to you.

  6. What a beautiful choice to make…I think often that we so easily forget to tell the people in our lives that we love them and they mean a lot to us. I don’t think we could say it enough 🙂 What a sad and challenging situation with your dear friends. Loving them is exactly what they just need right now.

  7. P.S. I got your message the other day, thanks! You were the third person that week to say the comments didn’t work…hopefully I did the right thing to fix that 🙂

  8. Pingback: Journey to 35: Complete | Tall, Short & Tiny

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