I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions.
Every year, people always pledge to do the same things: eat better, exercise more, spend less money, quit [insert vice of choice here]…and by January 5th, over the last of the Christmas chocolates and wine, when you’ve just undone the button on your shorts and smoked your 35th ciggy for the day, every last resolution has been broken.
So I just don’t bother. If I know I’m going to disappoint myself by failing in the first week, it just seems a bit cruel and unnecessary to even start in the first place.
This year’s a bit different though. If you’ve been following along with my Journey to 35, you’ll know that each month, I’ve got a few little goals that I’m working towards, as part of my year-long plan to treat my body and soul like a princess.
This month, I’m working on honesty. Not the “I’m a Big Fat Liar and Need to Start Telling the Truth” kind of honesty (because I’m not, and I do), but the “I Do Have an Opinion/Thought/Idea that Differs from Your’s and I’m Going to Be Straight-Up About it” kind of honesty.
My goals for this month are:
~~ Be honest. All the time: stop saying the things I think others want to hear.
Example 1: I want Thai takeaways for tea, but know Tall would prefer Indian, so when he asks what I want, I say, “Oooh, I could really go a chicken tikka masala…”, when what I really want is seafood pad thai.
Because I don’t want to disappoint my beloved by choosing the option he wouldn’t choose.
Example 2: a friend ecstatically buys a pair of boots which I think are the ugliest things I’ve ever seen, but when she proudly shows them to me, I say, “Coooool”.
Because I don’t want to hurt her feelings and say they aren’t to my taste.
~~ Learn to say a simple “no”: stop feeling like I need to provide a reason or an excuse.
Example: when a well-known charity knocks on the door and pleads for my help in sponsoring a child in a third-world country, why do I feel I have to explain that we already sponsor a child and that I’m not working so we only have one income and that this is a really expensive time of year and there is car insurance due and I really would like to help but it just isn’t the right time??
Because I don’t want them to think I don’t care, even though to them, I am just another face at another front door.
~~ Seek clarification on things I’m unsure of, instead of smiling politely and nodding “uh-huh”, when really, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Example 1: when my doctor found out we were going to Rarotonga last year, she said, “Oh, that’s right – I found out for you that it is okay to use insect repellent on your son”…she was obviously thinking of another client, but instead of saying that it wasn’t me, I just smiled politely and thanked her very much.
Because I’m embarrassed for her that she’s confused me with someone else, and don’t want to tell her she’s made a mistake.
Example 2: when someone says, “You know, that movie with Matt Damon and he’s on the boat and there are the giant killer bees*…” and I instantly reply, “Oh, uh-huh…” instead of pausing, thinking and replying, “Actually…I don’t think I have seen that one…”
Because either I don’t want to admit I haven’t seen the latest Hollywood blockbuster, or I’m embarrassed because I don’t have a very good memory for movies and can’t remember if I have seen it or not.
So, January is going to be a month of honest-to-goodness honesty. Honestly.
* As far as I am aware, Matt Damon hasn’t done any movies involving boats and giant killer bees, but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong!