Today is the last day of the first month of my Journey to 35. I chose to start my year of self-improvement by focusing on confidence….so what have I learned/accomplished/tried to do throughout August to achieve my goals?
~ I’ve spent time thinking about the things I do like about my body, and have tried really hard not to think about the things I don’t like. I made myself a rule: for every negative thought, I had to come up with two positives – and it worked! I realised there are more things I am happy with than not. Huh.
~ I’ve stopped trying to compare myself with other people, and have accepted that there are things I’m really good at…and things I’m not, and that it’s okay to suck at some things. Difference is what makes the world interesting, and learning to accept what makes me different – and therefore uniquely ME – has been enlightening.
~ I’ve spent time with friends who make me feel good about myself, and have reassessed those friendships that have the opposite effect. I caught up with some old high school friends a couple of weeks ago, and didn’t make false promises to catch up again with the ones who make me feel like a geeky 16-year-old again. I’m over that kind of carry-on, and if they haven’t moved past it….well, that’s their problem, not mine.
~ I had good intentions of trying a Bikram Yoga class, but have run out of time this month. Even though I’ve been doing hatha and iyengar yoga for a while now, the thought of trying bikram scares me the way the thought of my first class scared me. Which is silly, and I realise that, which is why I AM going to give it a try some time in the next 11 months. I AM.
~ It took me until day 4, but while on holiday in Rarotonga, I lounged on the beach in a bikini. I lay on the sand and played with Tiny and even wandered to the shore to cool my feet, in front of Other People. And I spent the days in shorts and skirts, and didn’t tug uncomfortably at the hems. Tall told me I looked great. Tiny wouldn’t have cared if I was wearing a sack. It felt liberating and like a real turning point. Yes, it took me until day 4 to feel comfortable baring my upper thighs to the world, but on that day, I didn’t spend time agonising over whether to take off my boardies. I whipped them off without a moment’s thought.
~ Also while in Rarotonga, I went snorkelling for just the second time in my life. I’m not a very strong swimmer, and being in the ocean freaks me out, but Tall was very encouraging, and the lagoon felt safe with its reef wall protecting me from the waves and currents of the ocean. It was awesome – the fish were beautiful and there were so many different species. I was a bit scared at first, but each day I went out a little bit further, and it was so worth it!
These may seem like such simple things, but they’ve been something of a breakthrough for me. Right at the start, I said I’d find tackling confidence tough, and it has been, but I feel as though I’ve made a lot of progress. And I’m impressed with myself, and how I’m taking this challenge seriously (but not tooooo seriously!).
Not a bad start, really. Bring on September!