A Facebook message from a friend I’ve known since I was seven: Dinner and drinks, sans children and husbands, next week. No Arguments!
There were three of us to synchronise schedules: Can’t do Mon – yoga, wheee!, Tue or Wed. Can’t do next Friday. Can’t do Sat – husband out with the boys. Thursday then? Thursday? Thursday. Thursday!
Preparations for Thursday began as soon as I got out of the shower that morning:
9am: straightening balm in hair, body lotion liberally applied, eyebrows hastily tidied up (mental note to self: make an appointment to get someone else to do them before they threaten to take over face)
11.30am: hair straightened while Tiny slept
5pm: make up applied as soon as Tall got home and could entertain the monster
6pm: bottom half of outfit squeezed into (jeans and peep-toe heels. HEELS! Toenails checked, polish mostly unchipped); top half laid out on bed.
7pm: dressed top half – put on NORMAL bra, wheeeee!
7.15pm: changed wallet and phone from nappy bag to impractical handbag. Added lipstick. And tissues. And gloves. Better take pen and diary, just in case. Lip balm. Swapped to bigger bag.
7.30pm: out the door to pick up the girls.
8pm: sitting down for nice meal at nice restaurant, sipping nice wine, talking about smart phones, zumba and books. Lamenting the demise of good spelling. Avoiding ALL and ANY reference to anything REMOTELY to do with children, ours or otherwise.
9pm: eating dessert, drinking peppermint tea. How’s Tiny? He’s so chatty at the moment. GAH!
9.30pm: dropping girls off and heading home.
I love my friends. I love seeing them, whether it’s sans or avec children and husbands. I love that we are able – and lucky enough – to leave our children at home with their dads and pretend to be adults for a few hours. I love that I got to wear heels and a top not covered in dribble, and didn’t have to order a meal that could easily be shared with my fussy boy. So why don’t I see my girls more often?
Because I’m a mum. Because my priorities have changed. Because my friends’ priorities have changed. Because I’m too old to be hanging out at bars, watching young girls stumble in, too scantily clad on a cold winter’s night. Because I’ve been there, done that, and don’t need to do it anymore. Because I’m a married woman who likes to spend time with her husband when the baby has gone to bed. Because I’m breastfeeding and there’s always a chance that Tiny will wake for a feed during the night. Because the morning starts at 7am, regardless of how fuzzy my brain might feel. Because most of my friends in Dunedin are mums. Because….well….because life gets in the way sometimes, and despite the best of intentions, taking time out to see girl friends sometimes takes a back seat to whatever is happening at home.
New message on Facebook from an old flatmate, living in Wellington with hubby and two children: In Dunedin beginning of July. Dinner and drinks, girls’ night out??
Four of us to sychronise diaries: Friday 1st? Thai? 7.30pm? See you then!
This post was inspired by the prompts on Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.